Last time as a FoD volunteer??

It makes me really, really sad to write the words 'last time'. And there are so many of those already - and many more to come before we finally leave China! Just 2 days ago, on what normally is a very happy time of the year for me, on Diwali night - I got very emotional because this Laxmipuja was the last puja I would have in this house. Crazy? Maybe a little - but isn't that part of saying goodbye, part of starting to let go - recognizing and cherishing these 'last times'??

Anyway, today was probably the last time that I was in school as a FoD volunteer. This year, our school is hosting the U15 Fobisia games, and like with all sporting events, FoD has a stall to sell drinks and healthy (ahem!) snacks to the kids and the visiting parents. I've lost count how many times in the past 2 years I've done this - in all kinds of weather, for all kinds of tournaments - I have to say that I've always enjoyed these selling stints!! And today, I'm done - no more hauling Gatorade and water bottles, soda cans, bags of chips, and the ever popular gummy hamburgers! No more cash boxes, petty cash - no more exasperation when a customer hands over a 100 rmb note to buy a 5 rmb soda!! Oh, I'm going to miss this so much!!

Of course, selling drinks and chips is not all what FoD is about - and although there have been plenty of ups and downs, there has never been a dull moment in the 18 months or so that I have been on the FoD Executive Committee. I've really enjoyed being the Secretary - and I would like to take a moment to point out that there is a world of difference between being the Secretary of an organization and a secretary as in a personal assistant - ok, feels good to set that record straight!! And although it was incredibly stressful, I also enjoyed my very short stint as Treasurer!!

Like all volunteer organizations, FoD has its drawbacks - the cliques, personal whims, strong personalities, even stronger egos - but at the end of the day, what matters is the amount of money that is being raised for charity. The glitzy parties and the spectacular event all go towards supporting a child with need of medical aid or pay for a library in a village school - and that is what makes everything worthwhile, what made working on FoD so fulfilling for me!!

So, this is it - the last day of FoD. Ok, I really don't know how to end this on an upbeat note - so I should stop. Thanks for the memories, all you lovely FoD ladies, and keep up the good work!! I am going to really miss being a part of this team!!

Making the decision

The last 10 years, our family has lived in 4 different countries. This wasn't really on the agenda when I first moved to the US - we fell into this expat life quite unexpectedly. And while I'm incredibly grateful for every moment of this wonderful experience, I do sometimes wonder how our lives would have turned out if we had just stayed in the US, never moved out of Peoria. No doubt, we would still be happy, claiming our little piece of the American Dream, content to be a part of the growing Indian diaspora!!

But even then, back before this nomadic lifestyle, Ajey and I still dreamt of eventually moving back to India, to live in our own country, be close to our culture, and our families. 3 years of living in Chennai showed us that this was not an impossible dream, that we could eventually make it happen. And staying on in India at that time would have probably been the best - except the China carrot that was offered to us - come back to US for a year, and then 3 years in China! Another international assignment - no way were we turning that down!! So that move to Peoria didn't really hit us that hard!!

This time around, it's different. This time, wherever we go, it will be for the long haul. So what were the options, if any?? We would have loved to stay on in China. Except for the pollution - and that really is a huge issue - our life here is pretty great. Good school, great friends - and it is so easy to fly home to India! Except that we always knew this was a short-term assignment!!

The default option is back to Peoria, back to the US. And that's what it came down to in the end - move back to India for good, or back to the US. Which one, which one?? This is probably the first time in my life, that I've faced such a dilemma - no easy decision here! So we did what all sensible engineers do - drew up a Pugh matrix, and spent 6 intense hours weighing the options - Ajey, me and a white board to hash it out!!

Soo...India - with the emotional pull, our home, our country. We would be close to our parents, Manasi would get to be around her grandparents, our Indian culture. And Peoria....so very far from India, with the bitterly cold winters, getting sucked up into complacency - but with better standards of living. The considerations are many - emotional, financial, social, education, health, it's endless!! Back and forth we went - until finally, we had a decision.

After all these years of wanting to go back to India, ultimately our decision is now taking us back to the US. I do believe that right now, all things considered, this is the best direction for us to move in. Right or wrong - only time will tell. Either way - que sera, sera - whatever will be, will be!!

The countdown begins - last 40 days!!

Well, here it is - the announcement, finally!! Our time in China is coming to an end, and we are headed back to Peoria - flying out in exactly 40 days from today!! Why 40 - no reason, really! Sounds portentous, though, doesn't it? Last 40 days in Suzhou - chills, goosebumps!! This post also means that I'm officially over my denial phase, and starting to accept that whether I like it or not, this move is really happening!!

Not that I wasn't prepared - our 3 years were up last summer - but we came back to Suzhou in August, and I think all 3 of us were hoping that we would get to stay 1 more year, if not more! And I am so not looking forward to moving in winter - not to mention the middle of the school year, which will make it lot harder for our youngest repatriate - who, unsurprisingly, is having a really hard time with the move to begin with!!

So, what next?? Once the move is announced, things move pretty much at break-neck speed. A hundred forms to fill out, assessment by the movers, setting dates, sorting out our stuff, booking airline tickets, making arrangements for temporary living, looking for a new house, new school, new cars, figuring out the pet stuff - whew! My head is already spinning!! And this is, what, our 5th international move? You would think it would get easier - but believe me, it really doesn't!!

Even as we are finishing up all the formalities, getting all the must-do stuff out of the way - there's also this whole other lot of activities. Getting ready to say goodbye to all our friends, trying to fit in 1 last dinner or lunch with people that have meant so much to us - and of course, the mad dash to buy up every last thing that's been on my list for the last 3 years, to go see places that we would probably never go to again!!

The craziest thing is - in the midst of this whirlwind, the house needs to run as usual, on the old familiar routines. Homework to be done, uniforms to be washed, meals at regular times, lunch boxes to be packed, yes, even festivals to be celebrated - soccer games, music recitals, late night meetings, FoD activities - it's quite the surprise to find out that the world doesn't stop just because you're moving!! I think it's the hardest to dredge up enthusiasm for these everyday things when mentally, you're already checked out!!

And the blog?? Once the Kulkarnis leave China, what happens to 'Coolkarnis in China'?? Honestly, I haven't thought that far ahead right now. For these last 40 days, I would like to do something special - a blog-a-day countdown, until we leave. Not that all posts will be move related - as always, I have a ton of catch-up posts, lot of things I've wanted to write about - so should be an interesting ride!! The countdown begins today...so stay tuned!!

The 100th!!!

The 100th post!! A milestone I've longed for so long, a post I've written in my head at least a down times - and now that I'm here, I'm curiously at a loss for words. Actually, I was hoping that I would get to the 100th by 27th August - the 3rd anniversary of the blog - 3 years, 100 posts - wow, I am feeling really overwhelmed now.

The last 3 years, these 100 posts have literally given me a new direction, new vistas to explore. What started as a hobby has gradually evolved into a passion - my only regret being that I didn't start earlier  - way earlier!! It would have been such a treasure to have documented all those years in France and Chennai - all those baby years, all those Snowy stories!! Even now, reading the first posts on this blog, there are so many memories that would have surely faded - if it hadn't been for the blog!!

Since the very first post, I have wondered who would want to read what I've written. Even today, I feel a thrill, a sense of awe when I see the number hits on a particular post - nothing makes my day like a comment on the blog! So thank you, my readers - for reading, for encouraging me, for all the support!! Thank you for getting me to the 100th post!! Thank you for being such an integral part of 'Coolkarnis in China'!!

I feel like I should be writing something momentous to mark this occasion - but I'm seriously blanking out - no words of wisdom from me today! Instead, let me end with a promise to keep writing - here's to many more - more years, more posts, more everything!! I do hope you keep reading, keep coming back to share our experiences - in China, and beyond!!! Signing off the 100th post then - cheers!!

Where has September gone??

I can't believe it's already October!! And as always, I'm way behind on the blogging - too many activities, and not enough down time!! So much for my resolution for keeping a low profile this school year - 2 months in, and I'm back on the whirl - jam-packed weekends, and a blur of weekdays!! Hard to imagine what our lives would be if I went back to work full-time - where would I find the time to fit in an actual job??!!

For me, September started off with mixed feelings - after much vacillating, I decided to let go my aayi - maid - of 3 years. The debate and the indecision goes back a few months - I'm always reluctant to make a change - besides, I can never decide if I have a good reason to deprive someone of their livelihood. My struggle with the help - enough material for a book, to be sure - is not something I'm proud of. Anyway, whys and hows I'll save for another post - suffice to say that I did fire my maid, decided to go solo for a while - soon figured out that I still hat cleaning bathrooms, and with a house this size, mopping is no picnic - so, finally gave in and decided to get a new part-time aayi - fingers crossed!!

Manasi, too, had a rough start to September - the whole Head Girl, House Captain, Prefect drama?? I'm still trying to decide if this was a good learning experience or not. I think it is an enormous pressure for 10 year olds - not only competing with their peers - but the lessons of winning and losing gracefully. Seems like - rather than encourage a healthy competition, the absence of transparency from these selections and elections - engenders feelings of bitterness. Again, material for another post maybe??!! Manasi was selected to be a Prefect - and the Prefect Assembly was one of the high points of the month!!

Football and Family Fun Day followed soon after! Football in Shanghai for Manasi and Ajey - Ajey rode the bus with the team on one of the 2 days. I'll be honest - I was quite glad not to have to go - while I'm for supporting the kids and all that jazz - a day in Shanghai watching football is really not that much fun!! I did have a good excuse - I was working at FFD!! Family Fun Day is the first event of the school year organized by Friends of Dulwich. Not really a fundraiser - we barely break even - it is exactly what the name says - a day of fun for the family. The venues this year was the Grand Jinji Lake, and the entrance price included buffet lunch, and a whole slew of activities for kids of all ages!!

The FoD ladies at Family Fun Day!

Oh yes, how can I forget - I'm jumping around a bit now - the week before was Manasi's China week trip - this year to Yaolin. I was hoping that I could convince her to write about her adventures like she did last year for Nan Bei Hu - but no luck so far!! She did give us a bit of a scare though - I got a call from her teacher late Tuesday night, saying that Manasi was complaining of chest pain - nearly hit the roof - after talking Manasi through her symptoms, I was pretty sure it was just heartburn - nevertheless, we were on tenterhooks the next couple of days, ready to leave at the drop of a hat to go get her - but she finished the week, and from what I've heard, a really good time was had by all! Now if only I could get her to write...sigh!!

The week that Manasi was gone turned out to be quite busy - lunch with girlfriends, a FoD meeting, our date night, of course!! Also, right in the middle of the week, was Ganesh Chaturthi - one of our bigger festivals! Usually, Ajey takes a day off, and we have a relaxed morning with puja followed by sumptuous lunch - but without Manasi, we settled for a smaller puja in the evening - of course, what's Ganesh Chaturthi without modaks?!! And then, the Sunday after FFD, it was time for our biannual Satyanarayan puja - 4 families for lunch, but a much simpler lunch menu this year!! Both occasions were a great opportunity to showcase my mom's latest gift - a pair of silver samai - oil lamps!!

Modaks!

Right after China week trips was the Greek Day for Year 6! I think this day is meant to be an kick-off to learning about Ancient Greece - for the kids, however, it's another chance to dress-up, another opportunity to get a costume!! Rather than scrambling at the last minute, I was actually prepared - had ordered a 'Greek' costume for Manasi from taobao - which meant that for once, Manasi was happy with my efforts! Some of her friends had quite elaborate costumes - while others had a bed-sheet draped as a toga - either way, the morning at the bus-stop was quite fun!! Year 6 parent reps had also chosen to have a Parent Coffee that same day - with the hope that parents would come to school to participate in the Greek Day activities - no luck, this year either!! I'm fully convinced that these Parent Coffees are a total exercise in futility!! 

To make September even busier than normal - this year's Golden Week October break actually started in September - which meant that the last week of September was travel week for us!! Where did wgo - well, that will definitely be another post or two!! Settling into October now, watching the weather change, the leaves turn, the chill set in - Fall is definitely here, with many more activities!! Hoping to blog a little more frequently this month - so until next time!!

Date night

Date night - in the Western sense of the phrase - is actually quite rare at our house!! Ever since we've had Manasi - Ajey and I almost never go off for an evening together - when we do go out, it's quite often all 3 of us. Even before, when it was just us - didn't really see the point of leaving the house to spend time together - wasn't every night, date night!! And although in recent years, we have left Manasi with a baby-sitter to attend a social event or two - date night, yes, really rare for us!!

Then, of course, Manasi leaves for 1 whole week for her school's China week trip - same as last year. A lot of our friends make plans to make the best of these kid-free days - at the Kulkarni household, evenings without Manasi are ear-marked to really, really miss Manasi!! And while in a weird kind of way, it is quite enjoyable to mope - maybe something different for a change??!! So I was nagging Ajey half-heartedly - to plan a date night, something fun - when unexpectedly, mid-week he calls me from work to say he has planned something, and to be ready to leave home at 6-ish. Well, I have been married to him for almost 16 years - so didn't take me long to sniff out the catch!! What? Of course, there was a catch...

The story goes back a week....well, actually, it goes back quite a ways - but I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, a week ago, the previous weekend to be precise - we were at dinner at Amigos with our Indian friends - yes, dinner with kids!! Someone mentioned that they were looking to buy an used dishwasher - what's that? Used dishwasher? For sale? Well, of course, we have one!! This is where the story skips back further - right to when we moved to France - umm, 10 years ago?? We bought and used our dishwasher in Grenoble - and when we moved to India, we took it with us.

And things never work out the way we want, right? - the dishwasher sized space in my gorgeous, modular kitchen in Chennai was just a tinny bit too small for our French dishwasher! Nothing else to do but stash it in our storage!! Tried to sell it when we left Chennai - turns out there's not much for a market for dishwashers in India!! So rather than throw away a perfectly good dishwasher, I just carted it back to US. Then when the China opportunity came up, I thought it would use it here - except our kitchen already had one - so my French dishwasher has been languishing in our garage for the last 3 years too!!

So, a 10 year old dishwasher - 7 of which, it had lain unused!! Our friends still wanted it though - so the plan was to hook it up and test to see if it was still in working condition. To be honest, it was with great trepidation that we opened the door - I was quite sure that the inside would be covered with mold and other unmentionables!! So was a pleasant surprise to see the pristine, stainless interior - hey, this is shinier than the one in my kitchen!! Took quite some effort to move it to the kitchen from the garage - but we managed to get it into place, and start a wash cycle!! A couple of buttons were a little sticky - and we were unable to find the user manual from the mountain of manuals we have - but still, in good working condition, and a bargain at 600rmb!!

The plan was that Ajey would bring the dishwasher to our friend M's house after work - and help him install it too. Except that Ajey always prefers that I accompany him on these kind of expeditions (I know, so sweet!), and obviously, he knew I wouldn't be interested - and knowing me as well as he does, the lure of date night to get me to leave the house!! Have to admit - quite an ingenious plan - if only I hadn't seen straight through it!! In any case, catch or no catch, he had planned the evening - and there was the promise of dinner in an Indian restaurant at the end of night - so date night it was!!

The dishwasher delivery went off without a hitch - and our driver was quite perplexed when we asked him to drive back without us - we were almost exactly opposite the lake from our house, a good 7-8kms away. But nothing says 'romantic evening' like a brisk, invigorating walk around the lake, right?!! So that's why Ajey asked me to wear comfortable clothes and sneakers - we were, quite literally, going to work up an appetite for dinner! He's lucky that I really enjoy the walk here - Suzhou is quite spectacular in the evenings, all those pretty lights - makes me really happy to be living here!! A couple of pictures we took along the way...

So from Bayside Gardens, past Moon Harbour, through Times Square - all the way to Xinghu Jie, where we finally caught a cab to take us to the New Ganesh. A nice dinner - we were sitting outside - and although I tried a couple of times, it was just too dark to take a decent picture. All worked out perfectly in the end - although, I wouldn't be surprised if this is our last date night for quite some time to come!! Oh, well!!

Investiture of the Junior School Leadership Team

Quite a mouthful, isn't it? Junior School Leadership Team? Investiture ceremony? All this for something quite simple - in plain English, an assembly to hand out badges to the newly elected or selected prefects and house-captains. But this is Dulwich, and nothing is plain and simple - and if there is an occasion for a ceremony - well, let's go ahead full steam, bells and whistles all the way!!

So, the special assembly. Parents whose children were selected as prefects received an invitation to the assembly - no, not just an email, a proper printed invitation with request for a RSVP. Seats were reserved in the front 2 rows of the theatre for attending parents. Along with speeches from the Headmaster and the Junior School Head, on the program were various musical recitals - alternating with the introduction of the new prefects. All the selected students - 26 odd, I think - were to sit on stage for the whole assembly - the eyes of the whole JS on them.

The path to this place on the stage was not that easy though - quite the emotional roller-coaster!! First up were the interviews for Head-Girl. It was quite interesting to see Manasi prepare for the interview - coming up with her own ideas about what makes a good leader, and why she would be a good Head-Girl!! Well, she didn't make it - and although the disappointment was huge, she came away with a sense of pride of having done her best. I could have done without the letter from school, though - I'm all for life lessons, but a rejection letter at the age of 10??!!

The elections for House Captains was next - more of a popularity contest this - for this one, Manasi was sure that her friend SW would win for her House, but she decided to go ahead and contest anyway!! A second disappointment, and once again, I was proud of her for doing her best, even when she was certain that the outcome wouldn't go her way!! Her persistence was finally rewarded - when she was named a Prefect!! I think I was probably more anxious than her, waiting for these last set of results!! Huge relief!!

To be honest, though, I did feel that the school went a little overboard with the whole 'Leadership Team' thing. Can I honestly say that Manasi has shown better leadership qualities than some of her peers? Knowing these girls, I can't help feel that they are more or less evenly matched - in terms of both abilities and potential. Yes, of course, not everyone will become a prefect - but why this coronation for the chosen ones? Won't a Prefect badge suffice - do they really need gold buttons on their blazers?? Why place them, quite literally, on a pedestal - shouldn't the honor of the positions be reward enough?? That's Dulwich, though!!

The best part of this whole Prefect deal - Manasi gets to attend a 2-day Leadership training - and I'm definitely not going to talk about why it's unfair that only a few students get this absolutely wonderful opportunity - I do wish that they had emphasized this as an advantage, rather than the gold buttons!! I'm hoping that Manasi will have a great time at the training, and come away a little bit wiser!! And yes, all of Manasi's friends have some position or the other - so at least in our little group, there are no disappointments, no hurt feelings. Well done, little girls!! And now for the pictures...

The Leadership Team on stage

Receiving the badge from the Headmaster

Happy girls!!

The Prefect blazer!!