For my grandparents - on their 64th anniversary!

64 years!! With a mere 14 years of marriage behind me - 64 years seems like forever and then some more!! And yet, here they are - my grandparents, bearing eloquent testimony to the fact that nothing is impossible with a little bit of understanding, compassion and compromise! Yes, compromise - somehow, this word has gathered itself quite an unsavory reputation these days, and most people are under the impression that to compromise is to give in! However, probably the most important thing I have learned from my grandparents, it is that a little compromise can sometimes go a long way towards happiness and peace of mind, an angry retort bitten back can end a quarrel like nothing else can!!

My grandparents - way back then!

25th Feb, 2014 - the 64th anniversary

 Aaji and Aaba (as I call my grandparents) were married at a time when phrases like 'personal space' and 'my time' simply did not exist. The family - a huge sprawling joint family, of course - always came first! My grandfather being the oldest son, was expected to shoulder a lion's share of the household responsibility - and he did so admirably, to the extent of forgoing a college education so he could start earning! And my grandmother was the very engine which powered the entire household - a hundred activities, from dawn to dusk, day in and day out! To hear them talk about those days, is to learn another valuable lesson - a smile on the face of a beloved family member is always priceless, no matter the cost to yourself! It is no wonder that everything my grandparents have ever touched has turned to gold, the more they gave of themselves - the more they received!

Of course, it hasn't been all rosy and shiny - my grandparents have weathered their share of disappointments and misfortune and hard times! And I think their greatest strength has been to face all adversity head-on, to never play the blame-game, and most important - to never give up! Remembering their cheery optimism has helped me get through some of my problems - their pragmatic approach is something I try to emulate every day! And then the good times - what a dazzling bouquet of joyous moments! All their children well-settled and flourishing (how strange it must be to have kids who are grandparents themselves!), grandchildren all married and forging ahead with their lives, and what probably is the greatest gift of all - great-grandchildren to carry their legacy forward! I wonder, when they were starting out, did they ever expect their hard work and sacrifice to yield such a rich dividend? Take a look - the pictures speak volumes!



My mom with her siblings, my uncle and my aunt! The photo is a bit faded, but I love the simple joy of childhood captured forever!

Here they are, all of them grandparents now! Although, I'm sure their parents still see them as the mischievous kids they once were!








And yet more branches of this verdant family tree - my cousins, my sister and I - the grand kids!







And the precious great-grandchildren - the pride and joy of the entire family!

Blessed be the ties that bind generations!

I don't think this is said enough - and I take the liberty of speaking on behalf of the whole family here - we are incredibly proud and fortunate to have Aaji and Aaba standing tall in our lives. If I can manage to live my life with just a little bit of the grace and dignity that my grandparents have always shown, I'll count that among my greatest achievements! I think they are the coolest people ever - sure, given half a chance they'll talk your ear off - but hidden in their stories are the secrets to their contentment - their ability to find happiness in the most unlikely places, their willingness to forgive and forget. After 64 years, they still squabble and argue about the mundane - but their dependence on each other is clear for everyone to see. What an impossibly high bar - and yet, what an inspiring example!

So, Happy Anniversary, Aaji and Aaba, and wishing you many, many more - with love from your grand-daughter!!

A little bit of Feng Shui

Feng Shui was January's flavor of the month here in Golden Lough! A 10 week course condensed into 5 days, taught by a teacher who came down from Shanghai - Feng Shui for Beginners! Very efficiently organized by a couple of ladies from Golden Lough, about 15 of us attended the morning and afternoon sessions - it's been such a while since I've been in a classroom, and I had forgotten how hard it is to sit in one place for a long time! And not just sit - it was of course required to listen, pay attention, take notes and try really hard to keep awake - all at the same time!!! Needless to say, coffee consumption was very high!

So, what is Feng Shui?? Literally, it translates as 'Wind Water', and it is the art and science of living in harmony with your surroundings. Although it is said to have been in practice for over 5000 years ago, it was about 1500 years ago that the principles and elements of Feng Shui were polished and then recorded. The very basic concept is that we are all all surrounded by Qi - Feng Shui provides the tools to analyze and then correct the flow of Qi around us. As with every ancient tradition, Feng Shui too, has many different schools of thought - the most traditional being the Form School, other popular ones are the Compass school and the BTB schools.

Our first week lesson was an introduction to the Form School, and the definition of a perfectly located house - facing south, with a mountain at the back, a river in the front, two trees on either side, with the left one taller than the right. Who wouldn't want to live in such an idyllic spot - except in today's world, are sites like these even available? No fears though - all these 'forms' translate easily into the modern world! In today's concrete jungles, buildings replace mountains and trees, and roads are of course our rivers, flowing incessantly with people and traffic! Form school assigns 4 different animals to the 4 cardinal directions - North is the Turtle, South is the Phoenix, and East and West are the Dragon and Tiger, respectively. So of course, you want the Turtle (a symbol of longevity) to your back, an open space in front of you for the Phoenix to fly freely - and since the Dragon is the Emperor of Heaven, the left ie the East has to be higher than the West's Tiger, who is the King of Earth. Not as scientific as I would have expected - but still keeping an open mind at this point!

The next session explained a lot about Qi - the vital force, the invisible energy that fills everything. Of course, not all Qi is good - and an important part of Feng Shui is recognizing and eliminating sources of stagnant or uncontrolled Qi. Opening windows and clearing clutter are simple ways of restoring the flow of good energy - although that seems to be more good sense than anything else! Intricately linked with the Qi is Yin and Yang - a very popular symbol. Yin and Yang represents the balance of masculine and feminine forces - the moon and the sun, the earth and the heaven. Added to the mix are the 5 elements - Fire, Water, Earth, Wood and Metal - everything can be classified into one of these. Each of these have their unique properties, and also interactions with the other elements - either positive or negative. Again, balance is the key word here!

The Bagua maps are a logical progression from the Yin/Yang and the 5 Element theory. This is basically a square divided into 9 smaller squares - each of the 8 peripheral squares is assigned an element, and a life characteristic. For example, the top middle square is Fire, with the color Red - and it is associated with Fame and Reputation, or the bottom left square is Earth, with the color Blue, associated with the Skills and Knowledge. Using this map is simple - any room can be divided into the 9 squares, the assumption being that the entrance is always on the bottom edge - and then use the Bagua to enhance any particular aspect that might be lacking. To use the previous example, a red lamp or trophies could be placed in the Fame and Reputation corner, or a bookcase with a blue globe could enhance the Skills and Knowledge corner. What is most surprising to me is that there is no reference to the compass here - the cardinal directions play absolutely no role!

Moving on to site selection - this refers a lot to the Form School - and also the shape and size of the lot and the house. This is probably more relevant to someone looking at building a house from scratch, but for those of us who already own a house or rent - pay close attention to the section on remedies for bad Feng Shui! The Outdoor Fengshui - gardens, pools, outdoor plants, trees - led to a very lively discussion! The teacher talked a lot about things being 'ugly' - this included any asymmetry, any straight lines (by the way, straight lines are an absolute no-no), and even manicured lawns! Ideas of beauty obviously vary from person to person - so it was very hard to make sense of this! Not everyone thinks that Chinese classical gardens - like the ones here in Suzhou - are the absolute epitome of beauty! There's a lot to be said for well-laid out, symmetrical beds of flowers, and wide expanses of green grass!!

The Indoor Fengshui was something we had all been waiting for - and here finally, were the compasses! Similar to the Bagua, the entire house can be divided into 9 sectors - 8 directions and the center. Of course, no house layout is an exact square - which leads to the interesting concept of Missing Corners. Each directional corner belongs to a person in the family - for example, the SW corner is Mother, the NW corner is the Father, and the other 6 belong to children - so if the house is L-shaped, and the SW or NW corner is missing, watch out! The person with the Missing Corner is sure to have some deep, dark problems! Also, children's bedrooms in the parents' corner, a daughter in a boy corner or vice versa, children missing their relevant corners - could all lead to the harmony of the family being disturbed! Gloom and doom all around - because, really, the perfect house is almost impossible!

There are rules and complicated calculations for everything - the number of stairs, the width of doorways and dimensions of furniture, shape of rugs, type of pictures and curtains, placement of sofas, coffee tables, desks and plants - just endless! A lot of emphasis on beams - don't sleep under one, don't sit under one, cover up exposed beams with false ceilings, avoid 4 poster beds - now I'm looking for beams wherever I go! Of course, to understand the full scope, it would be necessary to take the Advanced Feng Shui class! The simplest solution to any seemingly unsolvable problem - let it go, ignore it, if it hasn't bothered you so far, it's ok! The last part of the class was Personal Fengshui - a small detour to Chinese Astrology, face reading and palmistry. A Fengshui master would combine all these elements to help straighten out the overall Qi - of course, mastery can take years and years of intense study.

So what did I think of the course? Well, there wasn't enough science for me - a lot of it seemed to be very intuitive and subjective. Granted that this was a very basic introduction - but I didn't get enough to make me a true believer. Our Indian system of Vaastu Shastra relies heavily on the cardinal directions, and the Earth's magnetic field - and the rules seem to be grounded in reason. Not that I know too much about Vaastu, but what little I know and believe, has made sense to me. Of course, if I can change the location of a plant or two, or hang up a new picture because of the Fengshui I've learnt - I'll do it! What's the harm - and in case it does work, well, I've got my bases covered - if only getting a promotion or pay raise was as easy as adding bamboo to your study!

All said and done, this was an interesting piece of Chinese culture to be introduced to! Although I doubt I'll go for the Advanced class, I would definitely like to learn a bit more about Chinese Astrology, or maybe Tai-chi - now that would be so much fun! Couple more years here in China - so much to do, so little time!!

Welcoming the Year of the Horse...

Xin nian kuai le!

Hard on the heels of the 'regular' New Year comes the Chinese New Year - this lunar new year usually falls somewhere in the last week of January or first week of February. Barely 3 weeks separated the 2 New Years this time, and although the Chinese New Year is the longest holiday here in China, and is usually a perfect time to go away on vacation - we still hadn't really settled back fully after our December vacation, so this year, we decided to stay in Suzhou! Besides, everyone gets time off - including our driver and aayi - so if we travel, our little cat has to go to a kennel, and that does not make him very happy!

The story goes that every year, a monster named Nian would come to terrorize the villagers - eating livestock, and sometimes, even children! To scare this monster away, loud firecrackers were set off, and houses decorated with red lanterns and scrolls - the fierce monster was afraid of the color red! This tradition continues to date - most places you go to in China will be a sea of red at the time of the New Year! Houses are decorated with red paper cutouts, and streets are festooned with red Chinese knots and lanterns! The 'fu' character - which kind of looks like a wine bottle - symbolizes luck or prosperity, and is seen everywhere! Now, I can recognize the fu, but what baffled me was that it seemed to be stuck upside down on our Chinese neighbour's house - any guesses why? Well, the Chinese character for 'upside down' sounds very similar to the Chinese character for 'arrive' - so upside down fu signifies arrival of good luck! An 'aha' moment, if ever there was one!

The tradition of setting off firecrackers continues as well! With pollution levels always hovering at 'Unhealthy' levels, I don't know if this really makes sense anymore - but, tradition is tradition, and must be followed, come what may! So New Years Eve is one of the loudest nights here, and the smokiest! The fireworks go on till the wee hours of the morning - and while I was expecting it to bother me, the noise brought back strong memories of Diwali in India! Totally unexpected were the fireworks at midnight on the 5th day of the New Year - these sounded even louder than the New Year ones, and went on until late in the morning! The 5th day is the Money God's birthday, and firecrackers are used to attract his attention and welcome him home - sounds a bit like our Laxmi pooja, doesn't it? Still not done - the 7th day of the festival is the birthday of the Jade Emperor, who is the ruler of the heavens - birthday celebration, bring on the fireworks, of course!

Canals of Suzhou

With the aayi on vacation, a large chunk of my time was spent in the kitchen - but thankfully, that was not all that I did! We got one really, really beautiful day here - almost felt like winter was over - perfect day to explore the ancient district of Suzhou, specifically Shi Lu and Shantang Jie. In fact, Shantang Jie is known as the No. 1 Ancient Street in China! Like many places in China, this area is a curious mix of the old and the new! Newer malls, the ubiquitous McDonald's and Metro stations rub shoulders with stone bridges and houses that look like they are centuries old! The famous canals and waterways of Suzhou are also found here - and a boat ride is among the top attractions, even though the water is indescribably filthy! The usual silk and souvenir shops line the narrow streets, as well as plenty of little tea houses and eateries! There is plenty of history here, and I would definitely like to go back when it's a little quieter, to appreciate the beauty a little more!

The Shanghai Science and Tech Museum has been on our list for the longest time - so one day, we took the train to Shanghai, and spent a day at the museum! It is really convenient to take the train from Suzhou to Shanghai - trains run quite regularly, every hour or so - and the journey is really short, a mere 25 minutes! Once in Shanghai, the awesome metro connectivity will take you wherever you wish to go! The Science and Tech Museum in Shanghai has a little bit of everything - younger kids will enjoy the Spectrum of Life and Animal Kingdom exhibits, especially the African animals exhibit, which was really awesome! The Light of Exploration section had some interesting displays about quantum theory and nanosciences - but Manasi was quickly bored here! To commemorate the Year of the Horse, there was a special exhibit to learn about everything equine - that I really enjoyed!

Where's the water coming from?

Most other sections - including the much anticipated World of Robots and Space Exploration - were kind of flat, except one! We all agreed that this section was the best of all - the Light of Wisdom section! Here a variety of interactive experiments had been setup - what a fun way to learn basic principles of Science! The displays were all innovative - my favorite was the giant faucet apparently suspended in mid-air, with water gushing out into a sink! Where is that water coming from? Put your observation skills to the test - the solution is actually quite simple! This was the last section we visited before the museum closed, and I really wish we had gone there first - would have made the day so much more interesting! The museum also has 3 Imax theatres - even a 4D one - but all shows are in Chinese! That was a bit surprising - I would have expected at least a couple of shows in English! The added attraction at the museum is actually not in the museum - rather, right across from it! AP Plaza, a huge shopping complex located right in the Metro station for the Science and Tech Museum. The perfect place to get all souvenir and gift shopping done, AP Plaza also has some good clothing stores and tailors (in the market for a suit?)! Real easy to spend a couple of hours, or even the whole day here! Be prepared to bargain hard - the asking prices are way beyond ridiculous!!

The rest of the week passed surprisingly quickly - a lot of puttering around the house, huge meals, and of course perfect for rainy days, afternoon naps! Ajey and I spent an afternoon figuring out travel plans for the rest of the year - looks like it's going to be another exciting year! School will start in couple more days, and soon this lazy week will be but a memory! So before we all get back to our routines, a New Year wish - may the Year of the Horse bring you joy, prosperity and good luck! Xin nian kuai le!!